I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
ttyl tear gas
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
