Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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