I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
