we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
