he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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