Me too!
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize