Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You are a genius and a whore.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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