Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
