Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
