So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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