Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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