What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
