So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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