No, drunk sperm still make babies.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
