I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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