discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
