I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
