Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
