Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
