I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
