Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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