I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
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Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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