the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
