i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
