How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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