So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
this hospital has no fireball
Randomize
