We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
