Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
