Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
