Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
