Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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