I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So vagazzling was a success
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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