Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
