I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
