it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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