He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
