Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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