Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
