About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
