do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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