She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
