I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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