If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
