I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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