They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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