It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
