we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
