also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
