i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
