He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
