At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
