At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
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after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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