I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
