yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
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If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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