I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
