she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
