Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize