then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize