Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
